ten floridian commandments

by Emily Breeds

i. say ponderosa out loud. it tastes like fresh lemonade and froot loops.

ii. multicoloured jellies for breakfast. yellow jello. the american dream.

iii. when eating sausages slumped next to your m&m pancakes, remember
your father saying:
they put something in the food, you know.
something that makes them fat and tall.

iv. eat cold spaghetti.
it came from the pink fluorescence of club tropicana where geckos scuttled across the path.
they latched onto walls in heavy air that carried the laughter of adults drinking something beginning with a.

v. why was it cold?

vi. lick rubber and snort rainwater:
it tastes like the first time you went snorkelling
in a faux-medieval fountain.

vii. roll maryland around on your tongue whilst sitting in a hot tub.

viii. garlic bread will forever taste like being searched at olive garden
whilst sen. john mccain sat a few tables away.

ix. in an emergency,
such as tropical storm faye,
a plastic bag will suffice as a raincoat.

x. don’t go back.