Crossed Hearts and Crossed Fingers

by Emerald Grimshaw

I opened the cupboard
At the back of my mind:
Laughter and gold light poured out.

I felt it filling every crevice of my brain
And I smiled.
The thoughts were old friends,
That hugged me
And softened hard edges.

Memories flickered like movies:
A giant smile unlocked a flood of warmth,
That swelled under my eyelids.

I closed the door:
A switch had clicked,
The glow was gone.

A padlocked box burst open.
A herd of whispers pounded out
Stampeding through my mind.

I heard name-calling and anger,
Mixed with hushed secrets
That were whispered to me
In the empty netball court,
With crossed hearts
And crossed fingers.