Good Morning Mrs Jones

by Kavae Loseby

*Knock*

Oh My! Good Morning Dearie
Why I thought I heard you knock
Rat-a-tat tat… Rat-a-tat-tat
Right I said to myself, gosh what a shock
Someone at the door, shouldn’t have dropped that knife
Shouldn’t have dropped that knife
Not a whimsical woodpecker this time, No Way!
What can I do for you dearie?
You really must speak up, speak up sonny
Speak louder, why boy you’re as deaf as a deaf man
Fie Foe Fiddlesticks!
Old lady Barb now deaf and dumb
Glad! I no longer hear her gobbledegook
On and on, on and on
Like a right nutter gone wood-wild
No sense of reservation that woman
Think she can beguile
Oh My! Stupidly smitten
And her child, Well! Nothing like it in Britain
I myself have a child, such a lovely lad
Took a leaf from the bible, he had
Born on a Tuesday, so he was full of grace
Such a lovely lad
He moved away to Australia, he did
Oh My! Woeful day! Lamentable day!
I never see him much anymore
So far away, a man of clay
Said he was going to the land of sun
What hogwash! The golden realm is here
Over our pleasant land, sure you agree
A Malarkey! Malarkey! Malarkey!
My man left me too, climbed up a building
Blimey Bill did you have to keep climbing
Into the clouds? Kept climbing he did
Climbing like a cheetah.
Well! What could be done, the darkening
Light will shine, let it shine they said
Blinding!

*Sigh*

Blinding I was too, the source of serendipity
Studied in Switzerland, Oh yes sirey!
Belle of the ball, beguiling beauty
Ha! You agree? Of course you don’t
Well I was.
Greatest art piece in the Louvre
Me with my Mona Lisa smile
Threw it away, such a simpleton
Halfwit, fool
For the love of a man, Greek to me
Clear as dishwater was my decision
Then!

*Sigh*

The world is not what it used to be
Too many aliens…

Pardon? Oh Yes!
You have a question for me.
Would I like to make a donation?
All in the name of charity!
No. No, what a hullabaloo that would be.
Good Afternoon Dearie!

*Bang*